rants

i seriously feel so demoralized, and it's like i have so few close friends around me.
i invite people to my party tomorrow, and now what? only six of my friends are coming? ya sure. i had a GREAT secondary school life filled with close friends all around me.

AS IF.

i'll admit it. i didn't exactly spend a lot of time preparing for it. my mum did a lot. telling her as the days pass that how many people are left coming to the party not only makes me realize i might not have friends who actually wanna have fun with me.

honestly speaking, i'm on the verge of tears. only thing is, i'm not showing that side of me to all of you. you'll only know it now.

i feel so guilty towards my mum. i made her go all the trouble to plan the menu and open up my house for the party and it turns out i'm only inviting such a small group of people.

know what? don't feel guilty if you're not coming.
cos i don't intend to tell you what i think.
besides, if you're not coming, shouldn't you tell me via sms or whatever instead of me hearing it from someone else? i really think smth is wrong there. am i that awful?
better. some don't even confirm with me if they're going. even now i still have no clue if they're coming. wth.

to heather. sorry didn't reply your sms. it's ok! family time is more important!

if you still stayed opposite of my hse, i'll ask you over even though we're not close friends.